Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Three Dumbest Non-Issues of This Campaign Season

Boy, what a difference a campaign makes. Just a few months ago I was lamenting over Newt Gingrich's loss to Mitt Romney in the Republican primary, sure that, even though I was willing to hold my nose and vote for the RINO we'd been stuck with, I was sure we'd be saddled with another four years of Barack Obama, and I'd be witnessing the end of the Republic as we know it because of Barack having "more flexibility" with his cronies both here and abroad. Now? I'm practically salivating to vote for Mitt. Not only because all the signs point to his eventual victory in November, but because there was simply more to the Mitt-ster than met the eye on first glance. Where I thought he was simply the flip flopper everyone tried to make him, from his Republican challengers to the leftist smear machine, it turned out that the candidate we ended up with would actually be more than qualified for the job of President of the United States. This has become more and more apparent with Romney's rise in the polls, his trouncing of Obama in both debates, and now, most obviously, from the fact that the Left is absolutely reeking with the same scent of desperation that permeated from John McCain's presidential campaign in 2008. By this time in that year, the McCain camp had pretty much folded, ceding Michigan, a state that had been in play up until the moment they'd pulled out, from my understanding. Well, now it's the left's turn to panic, and panic they are. Here are the three most hilariously stupid ways that their fear is showing:

3. Big Bird

We all know Big Bird. He is the nine foot yellow Muppet that talked to other multicolored Muppets at his address of 123 Sesame Street, and still does so to this day, to the tune of several hundred thousand dollars annually. Making children love learning seems to be quite the lucrative profession for these guys, given that they've been on the air for several decades. I have a special place in my heart for the Sesame Street gang, and I always will. But to the Left, apparently, Big Bird is the be all and end all of everything everywhere ever in the history of all time, because when Mitt Romney mentioned during the debate that he was planning on cutting the public funding for PBS, the nut jobs on the other side of the river thought that a sign of the Apocalypse had been discovered, due to the wailing and gnashing of teeth in the media. The Huffington Post made hay about the governor's "Big Bird Problem", another website made no qualms and said that Romney wanted to "kill Big Bird", and the Washington Post also had no issues with baldly stating that Big Bird would "haunt Mitt Romney".

What the bleeding heck!? All these issues to talk about and your first attempt to stomp all over your opponent is BIG BIRD!? Seriously? You really think, lefties, that the election hinges on whether or not the tax payers are still handing over their hard earned money so that Big Bird and the Muppets can continue to teach kids to count to 12? Got news for you, kiddies. Those same moms? The ones with kids to feed and cars to fill with gas, as well as most likely paychecks that get deprived of take home pay to supply Big Bird with HIS paycheck? They're probably more concerned with filling those gas tanks and ensuring that those kids have food to eat more so than whether or not a fictional character is still on TV. Also, moonbats, taxpayers only pay a small fraction of Big Bird's paycheck. The rest comes from private citizens in the form of charitable donations. I don't think Big Bird is in any danger of being homeless or being taken off the boob tube any time soon.

2. Binders Full of Women

This was the one I'd only heard about during the last debate. Apparently, during his tenure as governor of the Bay State, Romney went out of his way to offer flexible hours to women who worked in his cabinet because they wanted to make sure they could get home in time to make dinner for their kids. When Romney made this point in his defense of his record during said debate, apparently women everywhere were outraged. How dare this unwitting representative of the non-existent Patriarchy offer FLEXIBLE HOURS to WOMEN to MAKE THEIR LIVES A LITTLE EASIER!? Lynch that bastard right now! He's obviously a sexist pig who wants to keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen! *snark function off*. Never mind of course, that women made up half of the governor's cabinet while he was in office. Never mind that one of his former employees absolutely GUSHED over how great a boss Mitt Romney was, and never mind that Romney went out of his way to hire women because he thought there weren't enough women working in his administration. He was probably doing all that just to cover up his natural woman-hating Republican meanness!

Yeah, right. Oh, and I guess I lied about the snark being off.

The Left even went so far as to say that Mitt using the term "binders full of women" was a sexist dog whistle, because apparently they've run out of words to use to blame him for being a racist. Does no one on the left realize that he meant RESUMES!? Resumes that are kept in BINDERS so that they're on hand for review?

Please, someone put some chlorine in the gene pool. For the good of humanity!

1. Mitt's Son Tagg Totally Wants to Punch the President in the Face

This has got to be by far the stupidest non-issue I've seen so far, but there are still three weeks left to go before Obama gets his pink slip,  so there could very well be more. Until then, this is in my top spot, and there it shall stay. Legal Insurrection brought this to my attention this morning, which was what inspired me to write this entire post, actually. So thank you, Professor Jacobson, for being the muse I needed to start blogging again. The story goes a little something like this: Apparently Tagg Romney was being interviewed by the LSM at some point, and they asked him how he felt when he saw that the left was ruthlessly attacking his father using untruths and slander. He replied to them that it made him what to "jump out of the chair" and "punch the President in the face." Well, that was the end of the story right there for the Left, who immediately tried to make Tagg sound like a terrorist for daring to use such words as "punch",  "face" and "president" in the same breath. But as usual, there was a whole other side to the story that they either did not pursue out of negligence or did not pursue out of complete idiocy. I like the idea that it was both.

The reality, of course, as Professor Jacobson rightly points out, is that the clip was doctored in the media to be cut off immediately after the word "face" was spoken. In reality, Tagg said of the president that he would LIKE to punch the guy in the face sometimes, but because of the Secret Service and the fact that this whole mudslinging thing is par for the course, that you just have to roll with the punches. Sounds like a pretty reasonable stance on issues to me, no? not if you're a lefty, it would seem.

In conclusion: Let the stupidity and desperation continue. Honestly, they  can only get worse from here on out, as the polls continue to surge in Romney's favor and Obama continues to stumble his way through the debate process. I'll be nearby popping popcorn and getting ready to watch Monday's debate, and to watch the third and final time that Mitt scores a victory over the Boy King.

Here's  hopin' gang.

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